Thank you for coming to my blog. I made this because of my horrific experience with my lovely hair. My entire head of thick curly hair was matted like dreads but worse. My hair was matted to the roots! I don't want anyone in the world to go through what I went through or spend hundred of dollars visiting the salon. Before you do anything to your matted/tangled hair, read this blog. I will tell you exactly what I did. If you have any questions, please comment.
Getting Started
1. Do Not Panic - where there's a will, there's always a way.
- Do not wash your hair - Hair shrinks when it drys, and this causes matts and tanlges to tighten. The tighter the knots, the harder it is to get them out. I made the mistake of washing my hair after it was tangled, and it matted my hair even more.
- Do not brush/comb hair- I will teach you the proper way to unmatt your hair
2. Be Patient - this will take time, but it is possible
It may take you hours, days, weeks or months, but it is possible to unmatt your hair. My hair took 7 months to untangle because I was busy with college, got very sick, and suffered form depression during the time. If I can do it, so can you. DON'T GIVE UP!!!! If you need help, leave a comment.
3. What You'll Need - all are affordable and can be used after you untangle your hair for deep conditioning and repair.
Tools (the most important are in bold)
- Rat tail comb
- Quilting pins (this will be your new best friend!)
- Medium tooth comb
- Towel - you will need to wipe your hands often
- News paper or something to put under you so it's easy to clean up
- Mirror - optional
Quilting pins
Rat tail comb
Products
Out of all the products I've tried, only one product worked well. Also, I accidentally created an amazing detangler that works well too. - The detangler that worked well is called Knotty Boy Every Body Ultimate Detangler
- The detangler I accidentally created
- Yes to Carrots - Pampering Conditioner
- Nutiva - Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil
- Mix 1 part Yes to Carrots Pampering Conditioner with 1 part Nutiva Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil
Knotty Boy Every Body Ultimate Detangler
Yes to Carrots Pampering Conditioner
Nutiva Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil
How to Untangle Matted Hair - the untagling process
1. Preparing the Hair - softening the hair helps prevent breaking
- Find a small section or piece of hair to work on start with the easiest piece you can find. Finish all the easiest sections/pieces and leave the worst for last.
- Heavily coat your section/piece with coconut oil. Make sure the coconut oil is in liquid form. You can warm it up by rubbing some between your hands. You can also microwave it for a few seconds. If the weather is hot, your coconut oil is probably in liquid form. The oil needs to be liquid to get between tight knots.
- Let oil sit in hair - the longer the better (before I untangle a hard matt, I marinate it with oil for at least a day). The goal is to get the oil to solidify inside your matt/tangle.
- You can repeat this process as much as you want on your section/piece - the more the better
- Use Knotty Boy or the detangler I accidentally created to massage in your section/piece using a downward motion with hands. Make sure to coat from root to tip even if it's not tangled there.
2. Using Quilting Pin - be creative and careful
You have to be creative with your tools, but also careful because you can break your hair, poke yourself, or lose your pin.
Always start at the very tip of the hair - use pin to lightly comb on the tip of the hair. STOP WHEN YOU FEEL RESISTANCE FROM THE HAIR. If you feel resistance you can lightly tug or pick it.
- Why is the quilting pin so important? The pin is the only tool I've found that can remove single strands of hair away from small tight knots. You can actually stick the pin inside the knot and tug downward and sideways on one strand of hair to release it.
- Rat tail comb: I find that this comb is useful in creating small sections/pieces or to loosen matts before or during pinning. Insert the TAIL of comb between matts or inside a mat and lightly comb or tug/pick.
- Medium Tooth Comb: this comb should be used when all the small tangles are removed. For example, if I've taken out the small knots from the tip of the hair, I'd comb the tip of the hair before starting on the the middle of the hair with my pin. The medium tooth comb can also be used to loosen matts before, during, and after pinning.
Things to Remember
This is a long process and it will take time
Always start from tip to root
Untangle one small section/piece at a time
STOP when you feel resistance from your hair
Finish all the easiest sections/pieces and leave the worst for last
Never give up! Leave a comment for help!
You might have to cut the very tips of your hair to get started on a piece
You will loose some hair in the process (I will write a blog on how to grow hair fast)
I would like to say thank you to my mom, Farai, and myself for giving me motivation and helping me with my hair.
Thanks, I really needed to know this!
ReplyDeleteI will post before and after pictures soon as I can. I will also post how I got my hair matted (sad story) xox
ReplyDeleteThis is how I matted my hair. I had kept my weave in for a long time and decided to take it out. I was able to successfully remove the hair wefts and thread then unbraid my hair. My mistake was washing my hair and trying to detangle it while in the shower I stead of brushing it out before while it was dry. Please dont ever make the same mistake that I did! Always detangle as much as you can before washing hair.
DeleteI did the same after taking out braids 😳😳😳😳
DeleteI left my kinky twist in for 3 months. Took them out and washed my hair. It was so matted. Im still trying to detangle them before having to cut all my hair.
DeleteI left my kinky twist in for 3 months. Took them out and washed my hair. It was so matted. Im still trying to detangle them before having to cut all my hair.
DeleteMy hair is so so bad i can barely move my head and my matted are so tight you can barely get a comb through them what can I do my hair is stuck in place an it hurts so bad
DeleteI'm in the same boat as you. I am so ashamed. I washed it yesterday and it made it 10 times worse. How is your journey going?
Deletealso the beautiful lady in the background pic is my sister ale.
ReplyDeleteI am sickened by how this happened to me. I guess I fell into a depression at some point (struggled financially earlier this year), and by the time I came out of it, my hair had gotten horribly matted, and then, I just ignored it hoping it would get better. I was working so much that I just didn't care at one point because I was trying to hide from how miserable I was.
ReplyDeleteI had put it up in a clip, and it just melded together at some point after working out a week and not pulling it down and just washing it like that. I know it's stupid, and I really don't know how this happened to me. I though it would just come out of the growing knot/matted mess, but it just continued to get worse.
I have tried other means and no budging and making it far worse, but the thought of cutting my hair off just makes me really freak out. I don't know how I would handle that. I know that sounds so vain, but that's the kind of family I am from sadly. I guess the one silver lining is that it hasn't effected my bangs area, but that's not saying much. I wear a hat when I exercise with my dog, but I am basically a prisoner in my home aside from that.
I am trying this next. I am mortified by it at this point, but I don't know what else to do, and the humiliation of telling anyone other than my husband makes me want to crawl in a hole for life. My family and friends would never understand how I, of all people, did this, so please pray for me that this works.
I need to get it finished the week of Thanksgiving or at the very latest (don't know how I'll get out of that holiday if I can't) my anniversary in December. I just need this to work, but I'm really scared. I don't have seven months to do it in. Plus, I fell last week, so I'm afraid my arm might be too weak, but I'm going to give it everything I can this starting this weekend.
Have you made my progress with your hair? Is anyone helping you?
DeleteIt breaks my heart to hear that you feel like a prisoner because I remember feeling that way. Like you I also covered my hair; I wrapped a scarf around my head; I looked somewhat similar to woman wearing a hijab. I avoided my friends because I was embarrassed; my boyfriend was my only social life. I still have the scarf today, but now it is a symbol of accomplishment!
The first thing I noticed while reading your post is that you are a strong person! I can tell because you are determined to fix your hair and you have a date set in mind to accomplish that goal. I am confident that you will get through this point in life; soon it will become a memory of the past!
You are NOT vain! In fact, if you cut your hair without trying, that’s just looking for any easy way out; or it’s a sign you are completely depressed and have no motivation to keep trying. You are not vain you are putting in work to accomplish something you want.
However, if you decide to cut your hair; you can be confident that it’s not the end of the world! In fact it’s a new beginning! It’s a new opportunity to focus on growing strong healthy new hair and taking good care of it. Also if you have ever wanted to try a new color or style you can wear a wig or get extensions while your hair is growing!
Also, from what you said it sounds like before your hair was matted you were already going through a complicated time! From my understanding your hair might have gotten tangled because you were depressed. I pray that you overcome this hard time in your life, and that it does not impact your health. Hair can always grow back, but health is critical to life.
Keep calm and detangle on!
Sonia in wonderring if you heard from "lightning". I am in a similar situation..YOUR BLOG AND ONLY YOUR BLOG has offered me somehope. Thankyou!
DeleteSonia in wonderring if you heard from "lightning". I am in a similar situation..YOUR BLOG AND ONLY YOUR BLOG has offered me somehope. Thankyou!
DeletePraying, even years later, to help those with matted hair to find loving help. Right now I am facing cutting off all of my hair. No $700 deposit to give the hair detangling miracle workers who want this money up front. God help us all in the name of Jesus. Amen!
DeletePraying, even years later, to help those with matted hair to find loving help. Right now I am facing cutting off all of my hair. No $700 deposit to give the hair detangling miracle workers who want this money up front. God help us all in the name of Jesus. Amen!
DeletePraying, even years later, to help those with matted hair to find loving help. Right now I am facing cutting off all of my hair. No $700 deposit to give the hair detangling miracle workers who want this money up front. God help us all in the name of Jesus. Amen!
DeletePraying, even years later, to help those with matted hair to find loving help. Right now I am facing cutting off all of my hair. No $700 deposit to give the hair detangling miracle workers who want this money up front. God help us all in the name of Jesus. Amen!
Deleteim currently in the beginning of trying to get my hair unmated. I appreciate how u shared about the being depressed and hoping it would fix its self. im right there with u. normally my hair goes to my lowerback/bellybutton so I really wanna keep as much as I can but its matted flat to my head! its like one congealed dread. the best best part is im white and none of the silly skinny blonde girls are gonna ever admit to anything like this so theres nothing in the info department. man im so glad I found this page.
Deletelightening: do not despair. I seem to have had a similar problem with my hair, which was the longest it has ever been in my entire life. I don't even want to talk about my carelessness, but I just spent four hours trying to unknot/unmatt my hair. I am determined to do this because I have no plans on cutting it. Maybe we can talk further. I will check back. But I will send good wishes out to you. Don't worry about what your family and friends might think. If they are good people, they will recognize you for who you are, not what your hair looks like. I don't know what else to say, but that I believe I have been in the same place emotionally where you are now and I managed to move on. Please take care.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing! I'm sure your post will help many people with similar issues I am happy to hear that you have overcome that point in your life. It seems that tangled hair not only impacts the hair but also the mental and social wellbeing of an individual. Do you have any tips for us?
Deletemy hair does this every couple days sometimes i can wash it and get it to detangle but now its starting to take up the whole back of my head and my hair only touches my shoulders. it looked fine on thanksgiving now its only 3 days away and its bigger than a softball and my head is pounding from it.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, so many women have and are still yet to make the same mistake. And sadly enough most hairdressers or salons wouldn't be bothered. They would simply CUT your hair off.
ReplyDeleteThey don't even want the money!! However all the products you mentioned will only make severely matted tangled hair worse. There is a product that was created for every kind of hair texture and type over 15 years ago to soften and safely remove dreadlocks, detangle matted tangled hair.
Its aptly called Take Down Remover cream. You don't have to mix and match products to your hair type. But most of all, it works FAST. visit us at www.hairdetanglerschool.com
This post was created to help untangle hair and to provide support and encouragement. Matts not only damaged hair, but also the wellbeing of the individual affected.
DeletePlease share your tips, solutions, suggestions, and experiences; they are warmly welcome and gratefully received. However, do not underestimate the worth of importance of anyone’s contributions to this post.
You stated that all the products I mentioned will only make severely matted tangled hair worse, but (1) fail to define severely tangled hair and (2) fail to provide any clear evidence or explanation to support why the products would not work on severely matted tangled hair. Without this information, your post appears to look more like a business advertisement rather than someone who whole heartily cares about our community.
Furthermore, using the combination of the products, tools, and techniques I listed, I was able to successfully detangle my hair, which had large thick matts, extremely small knots, (single strands of hair knotted together), and hair tangled sideways, left, right, and up and down form root to tip. Since I was able to successful detangle my hair, it is not obvious how the products I mentioned will only make severely matted hair worse.
Each individual’s hair and situation is different. That is why this post greatly values anyone’s contributions. We want to provide all options/information so that each individual can find what best suits his or her unique situation. Stating that the products I use would only make tangled hair worse may lead to some readers spending significant amounts of money on your products/services when they don’t need to. I do not doubt your expertise in detangling hair, you are far more experienced than I will ever be, and your products of course could be extremely beneficial for tangled hair, however, the post I created may be for some readers just as beneficial and perhaps more economical.
AMEN GIRL! Just as I was getting ready to cut and paste the product into my browser, it occurred to me..."This is just a flippin' sales thing!"
DeleteOf course it is. In fact, just like lightning my hair is matted (I look like that artist The Weeknd) and I feel hopeless. I have been dealing with this for years but have tried to to comb out little by little when I have time but work and school eats up my time. I have been wearing wigs since 2011 and that's when the problem started.
DeleteAbout a year ago I bought two bottles of that very Take Down Remover cream and as soon as I put it on my hair, it felt like straw. The product says not to wash it out so I fought and tried to squeeze as much of the product out as possible with a towel. Weeks later I was still squeezing gunk out. Needless to say the product didn't work so I contacted the seller to get a refund on the second bottle that I did not use at all and explained to her that it just didn't work on my hair.... I have yet to get a reply from her. I wasted nearly $60 and I still have the same problem. So, PLEASE DO NOT BUY THAT PRODUCT!! My first red flag should have been the fact that no one sells the product. I couldn't find it on Amazon, eBay or anything. The second red flag should have been the lack of reviews of this product. If it's such a wonderful product then why is no one raving about it? Thee last red flag and probably the biggest should have been the website itself... I'm technology impaired but I could have came up with a better website than that. But out of despair I bought the product anyway.
Thank you very much as I happened on to their expensive website that was all about "selling the ONLY product that works, along with purchasing their several hundred dollar video how to!!
DeleteI won't be buying a thing from them!
Thanks again🙂
So there scammers!! tangled hair techs.com then??
Delete@avaavamarch because I was desperate I called to inquire about getting my hair fixed (or to see if it was even fixable) and no one answered and it went to voicemail with a generic msg (like, "the person you are trying to reach is not available..."). I left a msg and someone text me back... kinda unprofessional... then they gave me a number to some random salon in atlanta... I'm in Houston. So I question of that school even exist.
DeleteI also just stumbled upon this Tangled Hair Tech group and read extensively about what they do and what they're about. I called their numbers and actually did speak to different stylists who helped answer my questions. I have not scheduled an appointment with them yet but that may be my last resort if I'm unable to detangle my matted hair on my own with the help of my hubby and sister. I did purchase two bottles of the Takedown Remover cream from a different online retailer and had such high expectations. Let me tell you- it was crap! The first thing I immediately noticed was that it was a completely different consistency and color than the one shown in the videos from just a few months ago. I've been trying to contact the manufacturer to see if they changed the formulation recently, but as you noticed, the original manuf website is crap and looks like it was done when the Internet was born. The phone number Atlanta goes nowhere. Also, the ingredients just make my blood boil! Who in the world thinks it's a good idea to mix water, mineral oil and petrolatum to "soften" the hair? My hair had this awful gasoline smell like it would go up in flames if it got too close to a match. I will try the product you mentioned and another one I've found called Knot No more by Treasured locks. I know everyone says NOT to wet the hair, but that's actually been the only way I've been able to get the perimeter of my hair out. Since the roots are not tangled, I literally tug gently at the roots and loosen each strand ONE at a time! Now, the Bible says only God knows thr number of strands on our head. So you do the math how long will strand by strand take me? I've been at it for 9 months now because, you know life must go on and cuz kids! Pray for me y'all. I'm glad to at least have found some support and comfort in you all here. Feel free to message me for some motivation or to vent.
DeleteWhile I appreciate why the Tangle Hair Techs are trying to do by helping people save their hair and self esteem, that product is terrible. Maybe the previous versions of it worked. It certainly looked like it was working in the videos but I either got a bad batch or the formulation was changed and it doesn't help but make it worse. You guys say not to use water based products like conditioner because it makes the tangled worse and don't mix water and oil. Hello read the first ingredient of TAKE DOWN Remover. It's water.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI just came out a time where I had no money, no food, and barely a warm place to sleep at night. My hair was ok then but then I found I out my bf at the time had been cheating on me and I said enough was enough. I moved to another state to be with a dear friend and try to get my life on track. I got a new boyfriend and started attending a community college, but that's when the health issues started to arise. I'd been noticing an unusual lump just below the left side of my ribcage, but it hadn't been bothering me much. When I started school for that semester the stress hit and with that came the pain. I would have these attacks that made my ribs hurt so badly I couldn't sit down or eat or drink. On multiple occasions I went to the ER, the first time they told me I had costochondritis (inflammation of some sort in my ribs). With the pain I did my best to get to class and learned to work around the pain, but I fell behind in my classes and didn't pass any of them. I took the summer and fall off to let my tuition go down (I had out of state status at the time) and during that time I battled with my hair. I love having it long but with everything going on around me I just don't always have the time to take care of it. December it was the worst it's ever been, my sleep schedule got majorly out of whack. I'd sleep from 4 in the afternoon to 4 in the am and barely do anything in the hours that I was awake. Now that I'm going back to school this spring I need to detangle the huge matts that have formed in the back of my hair. I've made some progress but I had to cut it to about shoulder length because the matts were mainly at the base of my skull and were hard to come out because I had to comb them through inches and inches of already detangled hair. I didn't want to do it but I figured if I'm not going to take care of it I don't need all of that. Plus my new bf and and friend can only provide a little assistance on it so I'm mostly doing it by myself and I don't want to cut my fingers with my own hair like I've done a couple times trying to detangle it so far. Anyway these tips are extremely helpful and I'm grateful that you've posted them to try to help others in the same situation. As far as going out and about with my hair like that, I still did I'd just do my best to smoothen the top down and brush it into a ponytail. I've never had anyone say anything about it really though I'm sure they stare. :/ I hope all of you have sorted your hair out or are nearly there. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI need information desperately on your experience with inflammation in the ribs. I am having the same issue for almost 2 months now. The doctor give me a prescription. But its not helping. I can barely move it hurts so bad. If I have to cough or sneeze it feels as though I am going to die. The pain is so severe under my left rib cage, I sometimes hold my breath so it won't hurt as bad and nearly pass out. If you prefer to email me it is jerricamcleod@gmail.com. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
Delete-Jerrica
Looked for your pictures...my daughter neglected her hair and hid it from me. I thought she was just wearing it up. I knew it had a knot and had worked on it. I thought she was maintaining our progress. yesterday I saw the ugly truth...one huge, mass. Can't consider cutting it as it would truly just have to be shaved. It is that close to her scalp and is one huge, matted rat's nest. I could have cried. She has beautiful curly hair. She has fought me and her sisters regularly as we have tried to help/teach her in the past. She seems to need to learn the hard way. But this is worse than I every imagined. She wanted to join us in growing out our hair to donate but didn't want to work to keep it pretty. She did the same as you - ignored it hoping it would just go away. I know it would make her fell better if she could see that someone else made the same mistake as her. Perhaps she will let me post some pictures to help others. Appreciate any encouragement and history you would be willing to share with her. Thanks so much.
ReplyDeleteGet her help, as she is depressed. I'm an adult and dealing with my own rats nest has improved my depression. The more loved she feels the better, and if u share with her others stories as I've found them all over the net, she really won't feel alone and like a freak for letting it go... There's even a blog I found dedicated to give support re matted tangled depression hair. If I find link again I'll forward to you.
DeleteBless you both
Hi, I just bought all the products you listed. I took time and was able to get everything from eBay and Amazon at a reasonable cost for me. I was so relieved when i read your story about 2 months ago. I did try other products and made progress. But I got depressed and overwhelmed again and it is even worse. I have/had long beautiful naturally curly blonde hair. My father died a last year and I found out I have breast cancer about 1 month ago. ( found early, double mastectomy is my choice.. so no radiation or chemo, just reconstruction and fortunately I have insurance to cover most of it) I am going to buy a wig or 2 and take the 7 months if needed while I am recovering. I will start as son as everything gets here. I hide my depression well and my hair sounds like yours was. I have mats as hard as walnuts and just as round. The back is crazy too. When I go out, I am able to pull it all together and put a band around it. ( it looks like a nappy beehive) With all of that said, I am a funny and mostly upbeat and positive person. So I decided to share. I will send pics too. Thank you so very much for your help and kindness , Karlee
ReplyDeleteHello! I'm in need of advice!
ReplyDeleteI've had my hair cornrowed for quite some time now (about a year, OMG) and I'm beyond ready to have them removed. My situation is that in some areas where new growth has occurred, the hair is dry and somewhat hard. I was on the Knotty Boy website, and I was looking at their Takedown Removal Kit which had shampoo and conditioner, specifically formulated for the removal of locks in hair. I have long, corkscrew-like hair that has several different curl patterns, and I was wondering if it would be wise to shampoo my hair like the directions said to, before using the conditioner to take down my braids. I ask because I figure since my hair has been braided and not loose and matted, my situation would be closer to locked hair? Please advise! <3
Hi aBAD, apologies for the late reply! I truly appreciate your comment. Your question is outstanding. You bring up a problem that is common among many people, yet there are little resources to address it.
DeleteI can relate to what you're saying about having braids in for a long period of time; I use to keep my weaves in for as long as humanly possible; one of the worst hair mistakes I’ve ever made. Just as you described, when you leave in brains too long this nasty crusty hard whitish gunk forms on your scalp and hardens new hair growth; its itchy, smelly, and very bad for your hair. Readers, if you doing braids, don’t leave them in too long and please moisture your scalp with neem oil or tea tree oil that helps kill bacteria and relieves itchiness.
I don’t have the perfect answer to your questions. If I had to make the choice, I would probably take the braids out first. But I’m very eager to hear about your experience, what did you do? How did it turn out? Anything you would have done differently. Your thoughts would be extremely helpful for many people.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteDuring my YR 11 year of school (just finished), I severely neglected my hair and my health, leaving me with severe health problems and a hair like a birds nest. I suppose, due to stress and the depression that began to creep in, I really neglected myself physically and emotionally.
ReplyDeleteI have a few questions, as I have just started on using your processes to untangle it all. I have begun on one side, with a only a few little knots on this one but at the back, it has almost fused together in a dreadlock type formation and because it is behind my head, I am having a lot of trouble getting it out. It is a really hard angle to untangle at, as well as it being a very matt to get out. Do you have any tips on what to do here? I am too embarrassed to even show my mother and my sister is only laughing at me trying to get it out, even though I have asked her to help me with it! I just want to give up and I have to go to school with it, and I am not allowed to wear a hat now so it will show.
Do you have any advice?
Thanks for the awesome post!
Dear Alva,
DeleteCongratulations on finishing your YR 11 year of school! That’s a huge accomplishment! You should be extremely proud of yourself. What do you plan on doing next with your future? What do you want to achieve in life?
Alva you should never EVER be embarrassed to ask for help! I’m going to tell you a secret. Asking for help will get you EXTREAMLY far in life (I wish I realized this when I was younger), so make sure to ask for help whenever you need it. People are more than willing to help; and it will open MANY doors and opportunities for you.
As for your hair, I understand what you mean; the back of the head is the most difficult. I struggled tremendously with this area. I too didn’t want to ask for help or accept help because I was embarrassed; my hair was dirty and smelly, plus I thought that people wouldn’t put as much care into it; detangling is a very delicate and time consuming processes that requires a LOT of love and patience and a good feel for how much tugging and pressure your hair can handle before it snaps. Because the back was so frustrating, I saved it for last. I tried using a mirror but eventually, I reached a point where I realized that there’s not way I can do this alone. I need support physically and mentally. At the end, I finally accepted help from my boyfriend; I taught him exactly how I wanted him to handle my hair, and he did great job. We watched TV shows and movies while we worked together. Here’s a great tip, whenever you detangle your hair make it an enjoyable activity, something to look forward to; perhaps play your favorite series on Netflix.
I don’t know your family but I’m sure they love you so much and would do anything to help. Please ask them for help! To many people fail to accomplish their goals because of “the way they feel.” Don’t let thoughts and emotions get in the way of you getting what you need and want. In fact, the more comfortable you are with asking for help, the more successful you will become in life. So start practicing now! The happiness and joy you will feel when your hair is restored is far greater than the temporary discomfort of asking for help and being laughed at. It’s worth the sacrifice. You can totally do this!
Like others herd posting..i have neglected my hair and myself.. I wore braids for twelve years..finally took them down ... Should have just went natural..noooo i had to go get a perm so i wouldnt have to do so much..im a get up..get ready go girl..well try to make this short if thsts even possible...got another perm..this girl did a horrible jon..so i decided not again..so i was letting the prrm grow out...working nights getting off at 6am..tired as heck..get home go bed till time for job again..got depressed..again thinking bout losing home..loss of a previous job..well just thinking about the loss of everything and having to wirk nights not taking care of self..so i trird that wen product and thats when it tangled...so i waited till my off day then it was too late ..it was locjing...now its severly matted to close to anout four inchs to my scalp..i truly dont want to cut it or shave it and go bald..ive been wearing wigs..going to job
Delete.serms like never enough time for me to get it done..now two years later..im determinded to tackle tjis matted GREY MESS.. Little ny little..day by day..i pray i can save some of my hair...it was long after twelve yrs if braids..so mad at myself and that in itself is depressing..please give me advice on what else yo do..thank you all for your comments
At the end of your post you wrote: "I will write a blog on how to grow hair fast"
ReplyDeleteHave you had a chance to start writing that? I'm very interested in that topic - my hair seems to grow *very* slow.
Your absolutely correct; I did say that! I'll work on it and get back to you soon as I can.
DeleteMany thanks for this sharing, it is informative, detailed and great pics! I have MS and took on some depression as the fatigue and acute loss of control came on board and as a result I let myself go! I have long and full hair and I want it back! I'm kinda nervous of any hair loss that I may have within this process (I know it's my fault for ending up like this) any suggestions? And again, thank you for this entry, looking forward to hearing from u. Kind regards, Karen ��
ReplyDeleteVery courageous post Karen,
ReplyDeleteDon't give up and cut your hair. Contact these professional detangle hairdressers. They have amazing talents and passion for detangling severely matted tangled hair. www.tangledhairtechs.com
Cheers
Yes, my plan is to cut some of it, u know new look, start fresh kind of thing. And no giving up in anything is something I just cannot afford. Ok, I will try to contact a hairdresser that deals with this issue. Didn't know they exist, I'm not from the US but Canada (hopefully that service is offered here) I'll let u know how it all pans out. Much appreciated...
DeletePlease can you give our community members a percentage discount on your services since you are advertising on our post (which gets a LOT of traffic) for free.
DeleteComing from strong Finance background, I’m extremely interested to learn about the costs of your services because there is no information on your website. Of course, I understand that each client’s hair is unique, in the sense of texture, length, and amount of damage etc. I’m sure it’s difficult to come up with a standard cost for your services; please can you give us an average cost and a range. Do you charge for consultations? Since your running a business this information should be readily available. Also, what standards do you use to come up with your cost figure?
Thank you for your reply Sonia Noviango,
DeleteIt would be a great pleasure to offer discounts to your community members.
However we have a bit of an issue. We really need to hire and train more individuals internationally that will have the same desire to save hair as we do. Most hairdressers can't be bothered with taking the time to safely detangle very matted tangled hair.
They rather just CUT!
We actually need more detangle techs trained to service this immense need. Training information is on www.hairgospelltd.com
Thank you.
Still waiting on for you to answer my questions about costs
DeleteSonia, reading this thread has been the highlight of my month, giving me the hope to continue on this matted embarrassment, so it gets even better when i see you not taking crap from spammers and calling them out on it ♥
DeleteHi Sonia Noviango,
DeleteWe would like to invite you as well as all your viewers to our free hair seminar. Kindly register on the event website below.
http://www.eventbrite.com/e/tangled-hair-techs-intl-seminar-london-tickets-15254640039
We will be training and detangling very tangled matted hair
on that day. Anyone from this website that mentions code- (LFMSONIA) will receive a 50% discount. Our service prices are listed on our website www.hairgospelltd.com.
We truly appreciate the encouragement you offer every visitor to this site.
Hi I live in Essex in England and I'm just wondering if there are detanglers were I live. My hair is so bad and I always promise myself I won't let it happen ever again but a year or so later it's back the first time it happend I didn't have a clue what to do and the people that tryed to help made it so much worse I had to get it cut off the hairdresser cut my hair so short from the back I really did look like a boy. I had long curly hair ringlets. Well now iv cut my hair twice in 5years. This last year I have had to deal with this birds nest 3times this will b my 4th. It fills like it happends over night I keep telling myself I will sort it out tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow but tomorrow never comes I suffer with post-natal depression and I have by-polar tendencys I get so sad and I really don't want to have to cut my hair again. My head gets so itchy and it's so embarrassing if I'm with people because it looks like I have nits but I can assure you that isn't the case. I tryed to sort it out d other week and I coverd it with "alot" of conditioner well i managed to do most of it all that was left was d big hard mass if I could of found my scissors I wood of just cut it in half and delt with it but no. So I thought I was a good idea to cover it in more conditioner and leave d rest of my hair soaked in conditioner I kept it separated then clipped it up I had one d best night sleeps that night but how ever when I picked up all of d hair that had fallen out while I detangled it was clear I had lost nearly half of my hair I went into a deeper depression and avoid finishing the big knot so now I bk to square one if not wores every night it gets wores because I sleep on my bk so I'm always laying on it. Im sorry for writing so much and it probably doesn't make sense but plz I really need help and when I realised I wasn't the only one I cried but I am on my own when trying to fix it I use to have ringlets in my hair now I have frizz and a mess of knots I feel so alone xxx plz can anyone give me some advice xxxx
DeleteWhere can I view your pictures I'm in this terrible situation right now :(
ReplyDeleteOh, boy, do I have a story to tell all of you. It's been a journey, at times more emotional than anything I've ever experienced before. I now have my hair down in a shorter type bob, and trust me every day I thank God that this didn't become more humiliation than it originally was.
ReplyDeleteFor almost a month I tried your methods, but it was too late, and I couldn't get it out the products, and then, my hair started to smell rancid. Oh, yes, it just got worse at that point. My husband gently took me aside and said stop with the lies and just cut it.
Well, my time was coming to an end to get it together. I asked my hubby to buy me a set of clippers. I researched wigs for weeks making sure which was the best and looking at how they looked on others. I did all of my homework.
I was ready, and boy oh boy, for a second there, I was excited. My life was gonna be better, so now all I needed to do was cut this hair. It was the most stress to that point I had felt, and then, the clip wouldn't cut all the way down (yeah it was that horrendous especially after the product disaster).
Well, I only cut it up to a point and left the bangs, and so I thought I'm sure my wig cap will cover it up. Well, I tried on the wigs, and the expensive one was awful. I hated it. My idea just crashed and burned.
This year my husband decided to have our anniversary dinner with our in-laws Oh, joy, so wig number two had arrived (the cheap one), and it wasn't horrendous. I actually felt somewhat attractive again. Hubby liked it, and I even styled with it with some cute clips. I was ready to go on our date.
Now I see where my husband gets his let's pretend it doesn't exist issues. This hair was the elephant in the room, and I just got tipsy, so I didn't have to sit there and question how they felt. I really didn't care. For once I was calm enough just to be me
Then, as we were waiting to pay, sure enough the giggling and pointing started from the corner of my eye. Yes, there were younger adults mocking me. My heart shattered into a million pieces. I felt like God wanted to be miserable.
Hubby tried to ease my fears, but they were back again, and this time I had to face my parents, the ultimate people who question my every move and would not hold back. I was a train wreck. Hubby said, "Your mom is gonna figure out that wig in two seconds. Don't try that." Great. Now what do I do?
Well, I got creative, and I decided I would wear my cute skull cap the entire time. Was it insane? Sure. I think I hit what they call rock bottom, but I got away with it and the ENTIRE time. My mom at one point said I know why you don't show us your hair it's because you haven't had it dyed in a while. Oh, mom, if only you knew the entire truth, but for a week, I kept my secret just that.
More to come
My plan was to grow it out when I got home, and month by month it started to grow, but it wasn't growing enough for that time when I had to share hubby's birthday with my family and friends. Yes, I had to face the music with my stylist. This was the ultimate humiliation.
ReplyDeleteI shed some tears, but this woman is a hair genius on top of being the sweetest person alive. She made it all better. I finally cried all those tears I had been holding inside, and that was it. She styled it as best she could because it was growing in insanely, but, yes, I chickened out telling her the whole truth and labeled it a bad haircut.
I did the unthinkable and debuted my hair for all to see, and you know what it was okay. I made it through it. I even got compliments, and we had a wonderful time at the birthday celebration.
Ah, and today, folks, just this weekend I went back to the beauty shop, and no, it's not that long luxurious length I've grown accustomed to in life, but it's okay. I don't have bald spots, and I look normal. No cap this year!
I already said to my mom it's shorter than it was since at least sixth grade, so I got her ready for that. Tonight is our anniversary dinner, and although I still miss my beautiful hair, I don't feel the need to hide.
The moral of the story is it did come back. I should have shaved it earlier to be honest. I wasted almost six months where it could have been growing because of my horrible vanity issues. That fear took over my entire existence.
Life goes on. We'll all make it through this, and thank you for listening before and listening again.
You have a beautiful mind and heart! Thank you very much for your comments. Thousands of people read this blog post, I hope you know that your story is an inspiration for many. I encourage people to detangle their hair. However, I don't discourage anyone from cutting their hair. In fact, I commend anyone who cuts their hair. I feel that when you cut your hair, it's almost like flipping off society. Why do we feel that we need our hair in order to feel beautiful, confident, etc. It's because of society. Hair is just hair, it's dead for goodness sake, so why should it define who someone is or how we feel about ourselves. We are SOOOO much more than our hair. Hair should never make anyone feel of lesser value. In fact, cutting your hair should make you realize that you are strong minded individual, and that your mindset is way beyond society and its narrow and cruel definition on beauty. Life is about pleasing yourself and not others. I commend you lightninginabottle27!!!!!!!
Deletelightninginabottle27 if you have the time, please can you give us some tips/advice on how to prepare to cut your hair, how to talk with hair dressers and stylists, etc.
DeleteOmg thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi there! Well just to let u know, I did it!! My hair is done! It's all combed out by myself mostly and twice with the help of my first daughter. I sent my first notification to u on Nov 9 and Nov 13 2014. I was too tired in December to tackle my hair but as mid January came along I said I have to conquer this hair thing. A little bit at a time I tackled my hair and here I'am Jan 22 2015. ITS DONE!!! I'm going to cut it abit this wknd, apply some home treatments and simply take care of it. I couldn't use the products that u shared as I'm in Canada I couldn't find them but thank u for the info, it was most helpful. Ladies and gents, take ur time, always be around those of encouragement. If u want ur hair back, if u want it bad enough, it's urs for the taking. U can do it, take care now...
ReplyDeleteKaren, I'm so very inspired by your post! You are a motivation for all of us. Please tell us a little bit about how you detangled your hair. What products did you use? What techniques did you apply? I'm sure others will benefit greatly from your advice.
DeleteToo bad I found this after I just washed my hair. :( I have a wedding to attend in 4 days and I'm going insane! I'm going to try and be patient but this tangled mess is becoming unbearable! #SOS #Help
ReplyDeleteHi CC, are you doing well? Were you able to dateable your hair in time for your special event?
DeleteMy hair was badly matted for 3 years because I went through hell with medical problems after I gave birth to my daughter in 2009 and am still struggling with them today. One day I lost my job that I held for 11 years and the good pay I took home and became severely depressed and started drinking every day. I didn't care about hygiene much anymore or myself for that matter because I didn't take care of myself like I should have been. My family noticed and would try to help me detangle the mess but it was so far matted, it wasn't doable. Finally last December I finally just let out my emotions and started crying because I was tired of looking like a homeless woman. I begged my mom to please cut the matted part of my hair off and at first she refused. Then she gave in and with tears, cut off the matt which basically covered the back of my head like a helmet. Low and behold, once it was gone, there was new hair that had grown underneath! We had figured that perhaps I'd look butchered but it was just a short cut! Orange dust fell out from behind the huge knot and I must have washed my hair 5 times to get it clean... it was that bad. That evening, I earned a new sense of confidence that I thought would be forever lost. Now, I am finally being able to take the right medications for my issues because I had been misdiagnosed at mental health for 5 years. Today I have more energy, I bathe every day, I actually take the time to do my hair and put on makeup again and stopped drinking... just like my old self.. my real self. I love life now and I hated it before and was so hopeless with my situation. I hope each and every woman with matted hair problems find faith in God to guide you in the right direction. We shouldn't have to suffer alone ladies. God bless you all and good luck to finding a new start!
ReplyDeleteHi there! I entered my post on what I did and it didn't go through twice! I'm not sure if I can retrieve it so I can try to resend it again! Any idea??? Thanks...
ReplyDeleteI have no idea sorry! I wish I could help.
DeleteHi there! Ok, here goes my third attempt at posting my story, not sure what happened but alright, this is what worked for me. On Jan 22, 2015 my hair was ‘freed’ and then I cut 2 inches off, Feb 4, 2015 I cut almost another 4 inches (had too!) and today is Mar 31, 2015 and in my observance there was a little growth. My hair was cut slightly above the top of my shoulder blades and now it rests just below that point. I used a long tooth hair pic, a fine tooth comb, extra virgin olive oil, Mane n Tail de-tangler and conditioner (I know those two products are not natural, I needed something right away!) plus a spray bottle of water. I fully saturated with water, the area that I chose to work on that day. I used olive oil, picked my hair a little, then used the de-tangler, picked my hair some more and then I rubbed and pried apart with my fingers the area that I picked. I used conditioner sometimes with a little more water and slowly my hair would ease apart. Keyword! Slowly! The tiny or small knots came out effortlessly as I gently picked at it and therefore I lost quite a bit of density, wasn’t thrilled with that but hey! It’s growing! I presently only use a natural conditioner and NEVER use a shampoo to wash my hair. I moisturize with 100% pure coconut oil (its water soluble and therefore goes into the hair shaft) and I further moisturize with almond oil to coat the hair. I massage pure castor oil onto and into my scalp and sometimes I use a natural leave in conditioner and as there is a myriad of natural hair products and alternative options on the market, I MAY intently explore them. I also DO NOT administer heat to my hair, no blow dryers, curling irons or flat irons, I simply let my hair breathe, rest and do its thing! Grow healthy and shine! And IF YOU CAN, please TRY to do the same, or at least until you experience SOME gratifying results. And for my hair growth, I do take ingestible natural supplementations alongside my current malady. I incorporate sustainable physical activity and a health conscious diet. Now look, I did it and you all can do it too! Ask a cool person(s) in your life for help, someone who is just not into judging you, exercise patience, pray, smile it up, be in laughter and amid sweet music, think it ‘bit by bit’ and team Karen here is cheering for you all, Woooooooh! We all have different hair types, causes and concerns but the common denominator remains the same, turning ‘severely tangled hair back into beautiful tresses’. You can do this! Stay blessed and spirits lifted high! And Sonia your blog is a great one, keep it up girl! Take care now…
ReplyDeleteKaren G. Toronto, Canada
Hello to you, you god sent beautiful women. I found not only hope with your blog, but also the feeling that I am not alone as I hoped. I found you by looking up how to remove big matted knotted hair. I googled and YouTube it. I saw some very interesting things. I was brutally assaulted in August of 2014. It was right before school started and I was emotionally unstable at the time stuffing from a broken heart, amongst other things! That devastation from having that happened to me when it was never supposed to, and could have been prevented if my friend I was with would have looked out and drove me home. I was intoxicated at the time and told him to drop me off at night at a bar. Against my better judgement I was off into the night. Wanted to dule in dilute my pain I made bad decisions and I got hurt badly. Afterwards I would let myself go because of the pain and depression. I tried to hack school but really couldn't. I had to take only 2 classes then next semester would find myself out. I needed a break. I needed to heal. I would just put on my lace front and front..and go! I told myself I'd get through it. Although hard with a cut going from my eyebrow up that required stitches. I was so brokenly devastated!! I mean how could this happen? Why did this happen? So as result my hair was being done. I wasn't and couldn't take care of it. I left it in 4 braids under my wig. When I would come home I would take the hair off and tie a scarf on my head if I could find it. The kitchen didn't get cleaned, barely. The bathroom got cleaned barely, but its only me. My dog got walked barely. And she would watch me very closely. My career.. My whole life was disrupted with the devil's demonds on the attack in my moment of weakness. They wanted to destroy my life. But they can not! My God is a good and merciful God! The cut in my eyebrow, thank God not my eye. Is still healing and you can barely see it. I was using kolecote on it day and night. I also used home remedies like honey and coconut oil and vitamin E. I started going to counseling. I told myself I need to get myself back together! I said to myself I better come out my hair before it gets dreaded. It was very dry and stuck together. I was able to comb out the first braided part but it was hard. I felt I needed to soften it before doing the rest and I was mad tired. The next few days or so when I was able to get back to it, I was doing to many things at the same dam time. I was making a concoction of conditioner and I ended up putting too much water in the bottle. Being as to me not washing my hair in all those months that seem to just fly by! That water was feeling so good I kept going with the sensation and didn't realize that this is too much wetting! And when your hair it all tangled... Water is a no! No! Too much water anyway. So as I sit here typing this on my phone. My hair all 3 of the rest of the sides are matted knots! I think I even fell asleep that night thinking I'd get to it tomorrow... Lol...I have to laugh because I really Dont need this s!*... But I think you for your site and advice. I've been doing a little. I'm sitting under the drier right now too. I didn't have quilting pins or even know what they are aside from guessing from the name. Lol. But will try if I can. I do have an old sew weave needle I been using because of a video I saw on YouTube. It seems to work but dam this is a long slow process. But I have to and I will untangle my hair if its the last thing I do! Summer is right around the corner! The devil will not when. We most pray and try to understand that the devil is busy! He seeks to destroy! Believe me I know. But I will let you know my progress. I all on my own so I don't have anyone to help me. My hair got in a bad matted Knott's before when I was in highschool and my mama was alive then and it toke time, but she got it all out! I love you momie! She passed away in 2012. Life has been really hard these past several months.
ReplyDeleteI have a matted mess on my head knots everywhere, your input made me feel better almost in tears trying to get me hair unmatted. what did you use? I need help
DeleteFinally! This thing wouldn't let me post! Didn't realize I wrote so much. I had to erase the bottom part. I said but God is good and God save me on the August night and with all things are possible! I believe that! So like you say honey! Let's keep clam and detangle! Remember anything that gets in can get out!
ReplyDeleteHi is there any body still put there? I came back to leave the notify me option. Well, I guess everyone is on spring break! Well hope and love to all who reads this;)
ReplyDeleteMy hair is getting worse! I have so much f anxiety about cutting it. ... or thinking about the matt that it's my hair! I hate this!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this blog! In reading the comments, it's sad that we all share such similar stories - bad relationships, depression, not taking care of ourselves. We need to do better as women! I think with every strand I rescue I'm going to think about that little pledge & how I'm going to better take care of myself now that the depression is finally foing away & I'm starting to see some blue skies through the clouds again!
ReplyDeleteThe matting in my hair isn't 'cause it was covered with a weave. It's just from straight depression & not properly taking care of myself. I'm disabled & have a lot of trouble just getting in & out of my tub, so I rarely condition. And I'm so "done" just from the shower that I throw my wet hair into one of those janky butterfly clips from the 90's while it's still wet & pretty much leave it until the next shower. It's a MESS back there!
Question - that I sincerely hope doesnt come across as tone deaf or stupid in any way... I'm caucasian. Will the Knotty Boy products work on my pin straight hair? Or do you think it best for me to go straight to the oconut oil?
Thanks!
I did it! I found an old box of hair color that had one of those super creamy conditioner tubes? I used every bit of that combined with a few oz of coconut oil. In the end, I think the equivalent of about a Soda Can's worth of conditioner & oil went straight into the matted part of my hair.
DeleteI wrapped it in plastic & waited a couple of hours and then started into the tedious combing, pinning, separating process. The final trick - that I really needed & didn't read anywhere else was scissors. Not to cut out the whole damned mess when I got frustrated! But to painstakingly clip tiny hairs & teensy knots instead of losing entire sections.
It took a couple of days- just kept rewetting & rebagging & adding more oil/conditioner along the way. My combing arm may never be the same - how DO hairstylists do it?
And the sad part? When i let my hair dry? It just soaked it all up! Other than an inch at my scalp, you couldn't even tell I had all that mess in my head 'cause my poor hair needed the treatment & attention so badly!
Like I said - as women, we've gotta start treating ourselves better!
But thank you so much...four years after you wrote your original post...you are still doing good work!
#warrior
DeleteDo I got to use that coconut oil or and I use any coconut oil?
ReplyDeleteWow. Thank god I'm not the only female who this has happened to. I let my hair get bad once before. And it wasn't too hard to get out. But this time, it's really bad. It's been matted for a year now. I don't even remember when it started. But between college, my toddler, mental health issues, and working 3 jobs, I just gave up on myself and didn't have time. So I've been putting it up for the past year. And it looks bad. And it keeps getting worse. People have tried to help brush/comb it out. Others have just told me it's disgusting. Thanks. Exactly what I needed for my self esteem. I realize it's gross.
ReplyDeleteJada Hair is a wide selection beauty and hair styling products, including Brazilian Straight Hair Weave many more.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to read this entire thread. I have a curly lace wig that I destroyed by using the wrong products. I was going to give up on her but I think I'll just take my time and try to revive her. The biggest tip I picked up her just by quickly skimming is take my time! Do a little at a time and don't stress out! I am blessed because I was able to get another unit to wear during the winter that will not tangle and she can hold me through the winter and into the spring. Thanks for posting this. I'll be back to post updates!
ReplyDeleteYES! Biggest take away is don't stress out..... it's easier said than done. Good luck!! Please keep us updated on your wig!
DeleteI just created a Facebook page, so that people can post photos and videos etc. to share their matted hair experiences with others going through similar situations: www.facebook.com/public/Matted-Hair
DeleteI was attempting to do dreads (neglect-form) the backside of my hair which would normally touch my butt turned in a big matted ball now its a big knotted matted ball (its now shorter than ears)…i am hAppy to have found this blog….i bought the extra virgin coconut oil and the yes to carrots nourishing conditioner (i couldn't find the pampering one anywhere) and tonight I'm sleeping with it in my hair in a shower cap..im hoping this works bc that ball is so hard i can't even take out the hairs and i definitely don't want to cut my hair even though everyone keeps saying the ball looks impossible to comb it its bigger than my fist…ill let you know how it goes but i am willing to try for weeks and months..my hair is just so long and i really wanted dreads! this has been the most extreme hair tangled i have ever experienced …! once again thanks for the blog and I will begin tomorrow. oh yeah before i found this site i had bought the knotty boy detangler but it did not work on the ball …i bought a dentagler sprays and deep conditioner ..i also put olive oil and nothing..im crossing myf fingers this works…thank you ill keep you updated…sorry if all over the place its late
ReplyDeleteHave you tried the needle? There is no way I would have got my hair untangled without the needle. Also, if you can't a way to get into the matt, you might have to "create your own door." I had to trim the end of some of the matts I had so that I could pull the hair because there was no starting point. Please keep us updated! I'm sad to hear that your hair, which was once down to your butt, is now shorter than where your ears are.
DeleteI just created a Facebook page, so that people can post photos and videos etc. to share their matted hair experiences with others going through similar situations: www.facebook.com/public/Matted-Hair
DeleteHi Sonia, how have you gotten on with the Hair Tech, have you managed to go to the Seminar and did anybody take up the 50% discount, as at the moment i am in the same situation with very matted hair and i am currently considering this Hair Tech company to do my hair, as they are considerably expensive. As they say they are an International company, they only have one trainee in England and i am unsure as the other option was given to me to fly to Atlanta as well. I just want to know whether this Hair Tech company is a Reputable Company. Have any of your bloggers had positive or negative feedback from this company, as i cannot find any people who has had their hair done by them. I hope to hear back from you or any other bloggers who has any experiences with Hair Tech.
DeleteAva
Hi Ava, did you ever get any answers about The Tangled Hair Techs?
Deleteokay so my entire roughly around 3 ft of hair is severely matted idk how to go about it because i have a job interview tomorrow !!these steps are great but i am positive this is not a one night fixer upper and im not sure what to do with it
ReplyDeleteI'm going to try this on my daughter's hair which I must say a mess but I will do it till I'm done I'll let u know how it went and thank you God bless
Deleteokay so my entire roughly around 3 ft of hair is severely matted idk how to go about it because i have a job interview tomorrow !!these steps are great but i am positive this is not a one night fixer upper and im not sure what to do with it
ReplyDeleteThank you! My 7 year old granddaughter has had matted hair for 6 months now. Not sure why her mom has allowed this to happen again. I kept undoing it but now it real bad. I had surgery on my shoulder and shouldn't try to do it my self, but, I can get the coconut oil to soak in it for a day and then see how to proceed from there.
ReplyDeleteThank you! My 7 year old granddaughter has had matted hair for 6 months now. Not sure why her mom has allowed this to happen again. I kept undoing it but now it real bad. I had surgery on my shoulder and shouldn't try to do it my self, but, I can get the coconut oil to soak in it for a day and then see how to proceed from there.
ReplyDeleteIm glad i found this. My hair is a big mat in the back part and its been like this for months. I have 2 small kods a business and a husband. Also we just bought a new home and i am prone to bouts of depression. My hair before it got tangled hit just above my butt. It is very long and is a hassle to maintain but my husband and my family love my hair and on some days i do to so i dont want to cut it. Well i guess it started small... i didnt feel like brushing it and threw it in a bun and just kept doing that. I would brush the top part of my hair to make it flat and looking neat and then just wrap the whole mess up in a bun. It became a habit i suppose and lazyness depression played a part. Last week I wanted to wear my hair down for Thanksgiving and realized just how bad this mess on the back of my head was...i was horrified. I couldnt being myself to cut it and was to mortified to go to a salon(plus no money) so i started surfing the web and came across this. I dont have anything but a brush a comb a rat tail comb and a tub of coconut oil. Hopefully this works i am sitting here with the oil soaking right now. But reading all these comments made me realize that i am not the only girl to do this to herself! I am not alone in the struggle to maintain long hair or to hide the mats and horrid tangles. Thank you all!
ReplyDeleteO my that is "exactly" what I was doing to my hair. Because it's up in a bun u don't realise how bad it really is until u take d band out and it's stuck in d same position. It's horrible so I just put d band bk on n tryed to ignore it. Until now thank u for ur msg it has put me at some sort of easie.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
Deletehi - i am currently sitting with a nest in my hair - i am not depressed however i have always just let my hair go 1-2 weeks before washing as i always thought i can get away with it being that my hair never looks greasy - but ive backcombed a bit too much this time and cannot get it out - i am freaking out :/ my friend is going to attempt to get it out but if not ill have to go to a professional... this has taught me a lesson but i am certainly not cutting it out - if it takes me weeks the so be it --- i just hope it doesnt get me down anymore than i feel today :( i thought washing it would work but its made it worse - fingers crossed my friend can do something with this holy show!!!
ReplyDeletehi - i am currently sitting with a nest in my hair - i am not depressed however i have always just let my hair go 1-2 weeks before washing as i always thought i can get away with it being that my hair never looks greasy - but ive backcombed a bit too much this time and cannot get it out - i am freaking out :/ my friend is going to attempt to get it out but if not ill have to go to a professional... this has taught me a lesson but i am certainly not cutting it out - if it takes me weeks the so be it --- i just hope it doesnt get me down anymore than i feel today :( i thought washing it would work but its made it worse - fingers crossed my friend can do something with this holy show!!!
ReplyDeleteMy great-granddaughter is almost 10 years old, autistic, mostly nonverbal, nearly adult-size, and VERY strong. In recent months her black shoulder-length hair is quite matted, and to attempt the long-term solution I've read of here would be a MAJOR challenge, since it is highly unlikely she would be cooperative. She is being raised by her very loving mom with the help of mom's devoted and loving parents (the child's dad is not in the picture). My concern is that if CPS were ever to see this girl, they would most likely think she is not getting proper care at home. Any suggestions in a situation like this?
ReplyDeleteIf you think she may not cooperate with the long process of detangling, a hair cut may be the answer for you and CPS
DeleteThanks for creating this blog, you ladies are great! You helped me feel better and not so alone in the matted hair episode. You also gave great advice, I really appreciate it. My hair matted/extreme tangled after I took my braids out, had them in for 3 months. I now understand that you must first FULLY comb through your hair, FULLY, meaning no kinks or tangles left. Then you can shampoo/condition your hair. To get rid of my matted hair, I used several and tons of moisturizing oily creams, coconut oil, Shea butter, pins, combs and brush. I put tons of the creams and oils on my hair, then I wrapped with Saran wrap for 1, 2 or 3 hours. It took me 2 days but I got it down. A friend helped the second day and she was awesome! It can be done!!!
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to come on here and say THANK YOU for this post! My four year old daughter has hair that tangles easily. She got sick and stayed in bed for a week with a high fever. At the end of it, her hair was so matted I thought we'd need to shave her head. It was devastating. I read your blog post and got to work. My husband found the Yes to Carrots conditioner and I mixed it with melted coconut oil. It took three days (about 16 hrs in total) but her hair is back to normal! Thank you so much. The rat tail comb is magnificent for this.
ReplyDelete:-) !!!!! #warrior Big win!
DeleteThank you so much for posting your story and this list. I honestly thought I was the only girl who was struggling with this. My hair has been matted from root to tip for months. (I won't bore you with the details) I've been using a beanie to cover my hair and making excuses. I can't wait to try these items.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for posting your story and this list. I honestly thought I was the only girl who was struggling with this. My hair has been matted from root to tip for months. (I won't bore you with the details) I've been using a beanie to cover my hair and making excuses. I can't wait to try these items.
ReplyDeleteHi I could really do with some urgent help with my hair its very knotted tangled and tight the back is the worst its all pressed together I have a sensitive head so I dread the thought of even trying to get them out but I need to and really want to I once had beautiful hair but not been focusing on my self for about half a year please help my email is gemmahandley83@gmail.com thanks
ReplyDeleteOmg I just want to say thank you so much for the tips you shared & the encouragement to never give up! I was severely depressed & considering suicide and I didn't take care of my hair properly for weeks. Once I finally decided to detangle it, there was two fist sized rock hard matted portions and I mean they were like rocks!! Plus my hair was covered in tangles & other matted portions. Also, hair is down to my lower back. When I started it was tangled into a compact portion that didn't even go past my neck. But w/ the tools you recommended and some minor cutting I am now completely tangle free! The coconut oil was especially helpful and I also bought a knitting tool that I used. My hair is thinner but I still have it and I'm so thankful!! I was fortunate enough to have an amazing & caring loved one that sat & helped me for 4-5 straight hours 4 days in a row. If I wouldn't have found your blog idk what I would have done!! You are a life saver :)
ReplyDelete& to everyone else, don't give up!!
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ReplyDeleteAlso, the name on the comment I posted isn't mine, it's my friends account & they put that as a joke. I'm a female :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, the name on the comment I posted isn't mine, it's my friends account & they put that as a joke. I'm a female :)
ReplyDeleteIt's good to know that I am not alone in going through this!
ReplyDeleteI am SAD to say my hair is a horrific mess. I'm gonna give this a try and I swear I'm NEVER gonna let it get like this EVER again. Like so many of the other posts I read, I have been struggling with some depression, emotional problems and don't even know who I am anymore. It's been almost 2 months since I brushed my hair, which let me add that my hair is to the middle of my back, naturally curly and extremely thick. All I would/have been doing the past couple of months is sleeping, sleeping and sleeping. My matted up hair is mostly close to the scalp. Whenever I went to the store I would just pull it up into a pony flip and would try the best I could to conceal it. I can't even get my fingers to move in this tangled mop on my head. I've used coconut oil in my hair before and it seemed to make it hard to brush but that was along with other hair products also. I just don't know if I have the patience to pick it out with the pins, but anything is worth a shot not to have to endure the pulling. I guess one thing I have going for me is that I'm not tender headed anymore. I wish everyone going through this the best of luck as well as myself. Thank you for the advice. All the other sites said to run the bottom blade of scissors on the underneath side of the knot/matted hair and that's still not out of the question but it's hard doing this alone. Thanks again for the advice.
ReplyDeleteHi I live in Essex in England and I'm just wondering if there are detanglers were I live. My hair is so bad and I always promise myself I won't let it happen ever again but a year or so later it's back the first time it happend I didn't have a clue what to do and the people that tryed to help made it so much worse I had to get it cut off the hairdresser cut my hair so short from the back I really did look like a boy. I had long curly hair ringlets. Well now iv cut my hair twice in 5years. This last year I have had to deal with this birds nest 3times this will b my 4th. It fills like it happends over night I keep telling myself I will sort it out tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow but tomorrow never comes I suffer with post-natal depression and I have by-polar tendencys I get so sad and I really don't want to have to cut my hair again. My head gets so itchy and it's so embarrassing if I'm with people because it looks like I have nits but I can assure you that isn't the case. I tryed to sort it out d other week and I coverd it with "alot" of conditioner well i managed to do most of it all that was left was d big hard mass if I could of found my scissors I wood of just cut it in half and delt with it but no. So I thought I was a good idea to cover it in more conditioner and leave d rest of my hair soaked in conditioner I kept it separated then clipped it up I had one d best night sleeps that night but how ever when I picked up all of d hair that had fallen out while I detangled it was clear I had lost nearly half of my hair I went into a deeper depression and avoid finishing the big knot so now I bk to square one if not wores every night it gets wores because I sleep on my bk so I'm always laying on it. Im sorry for writing so much and it probably doesn't make sense but plz I really need help and when I realised I wasn't the only one I cried but I am on my own when trying to fix it I use to have ringlets in my hair now I have frizz and a mess of knots I feel so alone xxx plz can anyone give me some advice xxxx
ReplyDeleteThese products can be found on Amazon. Here is a link to Amazon in the UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/Knotty-Boy-Every-Ultimate-Detangler/dp/B004Z263SM
DeleteYou are NOT alone, and you can write as much as you like.
DeleteThanks so much for this! Just like many others, I have had serious issues with depression. My hair is super curly, super thick and right now half of my head is so tangled and matted, I'm pulling it out strand by strand. Last year I had to have several surgeries, with one of those an emergency life saving surgery. I was on bedrest for 7 months, and when you have no way to wash or brush waist length hair, it can get bad fast. After I recovered, I just twisted the whole mess up and his it under a scarf. I was finding it harder and harder to go anywhere, as my hair was adding to my depression. I have tried everything, and even have hair cuts on my fingers. Like I already said, I'm just over halfway, but the large knot has just gotten harder and harder to pull strands from. I an determined to get it done as each section I am starting to feel like myself again. I can't afford to buy any products, so would using tons of conditioner on wet hair help? As for everyone else like me, we are survivors! Winning the battle with our hair is a great way of punching back at our depression and insecurities. I dub us all warriors!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for this! Just like many others, I have had serious issues with depression. My hair is super curly, super thick and right now half of my head is so tangled and matted, I'm pulling it out strand by strand. Last year I had to have several surgeries, with one of those an emergency life saving surgery. I was on bedrest for 7 months, and when you have no way to wash or brush waist length hair, it can get bad fast. After I recovered, I just twisted the whole mess up and his it under a scarf. I was finding it harder and harder to go anywhere, as my hair was adding to my depression. I have tried everything, and even have hair cuts on my fingers. Like I already said, I'm just over halfway, but the large knot has just gotten harder and harder to pull strands from. I an determined to get it done as each section I am starting to feel like myself again. I can't afford to buy any products, so would using tons of conditioner on wet hair help? As for everyone else like me, we are survivors! Winning the battle with our hair is a great way of punching back at our depression and insecurities. I dub us all warriors!
ReplyDeleteWe are!
DeleteBreanna have you made any progress? Please let me know. When I detangled my hair I was left with one matt in the middle of my head that was matted beyond repair. I had to cut half of the matt off to create an entry point. I was ok with this because I managed to detangled the rest of my hair and that alone was a BIG WIN. I was ok with forfeiting that one section. When it grew back, it was actually the healthiest hair on my head ;-). #warriors
DeleteNo matter what I try, how much time and effort I put into trying to prevent it from tangling, my hair just keeps getting worse. This is the second time I have had to cut my hair off to atleast shoulder length because of it matting up so bad. It seems like it's dying from the root to the ends and it's pretty much like velcro now. Not only does it tangle and knot up (even up to my scalp in the back within a matter of one day) it falls out by the hand full literally. The strands that I can get untangled seem to stick to others like super glue causing more tangles. It's so embarrassing I just don't even go out in public anymore unless there's no way around it. It's too the point that I try to keep it covered with the oversized headwraps or anything that looks semi decent but it's getting to be warmer weather and will be to hot for that soon. I've actually went to my doctors to try to figure out what could be causing my hair to die and why I started having such severe and sudden hair loss but haven't had any luck there and they say my thyroids are normal, etc. I know stress plays a huge part in it all but even when I'm not stressed at all it happens. I don't have a lot more of my hair to lose or to cut off. Has anyone else had this same problem or have any suggestions or info about what could be causing all this or even a product that might help? I appreciate it and all this info you have posted. I am definitely going to try it because I want to have a life outside of my house and be able to go out without being embarrassed.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI'm in tears as I read through these... my husband and I went through a rough patch and during that time I got a knot that now a year later has consumed my whole head... it had been up in a ponytail for over a year and I basically wear a headband head scarf thing every day. Sometimes people ask... I just say it's cause I have bad dandruff. My husband is the only one who knows and we are doing 100 times better... I think I'm going to cut it this summer when my girls are done with school so I don't have to worry about talking about it with people... I don't know how I'm going to cut it and still alow for enough to make it seam like it was my idea... I'm a busy working mom and we never have free time.. I have so much going on this summer and coming year I need to just free myself from this. I'm glad to see I'm not alone. I will try to detangle but if I don't see progress I will be cutting it in June.
ReplyDeleteI'm in tears as I read through these... my husband and I went through a rough patch and during that time I got a knot that now a year later has consumed my whole head... it had been up in a ponytail for over a year and I basically wear a headband head scarf thing every day. Sometimes people ask... I just say it's cause I have bad dandruff. My husband is the only one who knows and we are doing 100 times better... I think I'm going to cut it this summer when my girls are done with school so I don't have to worry about talking about it with people... I don't know how I'm going to cut it and still alow for enough to make it seam like it was my idea... I'm a busy working mom and we never have free time.. I have so much going on this summer and coming year I need to just free myself from this. I'm glad to see I'm not alone. I will try to detangle but if I don't see progress I will be cutting it in June.
ReplyDeleteAkamama223, any progress on your hair? Whatever choice you make - to detangle or to cut - is the RIGHT choice. All that matters is you and what makes you happy. I want you to be as happy as possible, because from what you've shared with us, it appears that your hair was tangled because you were not happy. I think this is true for many people who writer comments on the post. I'm not sure if this will help you or other readers out there, but one of the hardest things to do in life is to be happy, not many people can achieve happiness, but everyone is capable of achieving it. Society makes it so hard - it wants us to look, act, dress, and be a certain way to be accepted or to fit in. We spent most of our time working, and not enough time living. We are taught to feel like we are never enough, we are taught to be consumers. Always thinking we lack something and need something to be happy. But true happiness comes form within. Every other type of happiness is temporary. I believe that the foundation of happiness is loving yourself and not caring what other people think.
DeleteSo glad I found this. My hair had basically became a helmet. It was nearly waist length and very very thick but due to having an autistic son and a baby to look after plus becoming a single mum I neglected my hair for two years. I've now got about half of it free and I'm working on the other half when I can due to health conditions and now my two autistic sons. I never thought I'd get my hair untangled and would need to get it all cut off. But it can be done with patience and time.
ReplyDeleteAshaidaus, I'm so VERY HAPPY to hear that you've freed half of your beautiful thick hair! That's HUGE progress. When my hair was tangled, it took 6 months to get it out. It was so much work, I can only imagine how much more work it is for you while taking care of your family. My mom was a single mom too, and I watched her struggle to make ends meet, we grew up on food stamps and didn't have much, but it was the love I got from my mom that made me who I am today. She inspires me to work hard and try my best. She's the reason why I've made it this far in life. I commend you for your perseverance and for being a single mom!!!!
DeleteMy hair has marred itself into a bun. 75% of my hair was shaved before this happened anyway but I am half Puerto Rican and the rest is Italian and native American so I have very thick curly hair. I've fallen into a deep depression between just having a baby last July and becoming pregnant due to faulty birth control again so soon. I never had time for my hair and just ignored it hoping that if get to it one day. People have spent hours brushing out my hair and have barley made dents in it. It has so tightly knotted together. And hair salons have just told me to shave it because it's too my roots and my hair comes down past the middle of my back before this happened. I'm on the verge of giving up and just cutting into it. But the thought of that sets off my anxiety and makes me feel like if rather just stay at home instead of going out because of the judgement I'll get. And the judgement I get from this really sets me off. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one this has happened to.
ReplyDeleteHi mixed beauty! I image your hair is stunning with your diverse ethnic background. I am Native Indian, Canadian, and Southern African, and my hair is SUPER thick, poofy, and afro like. I'm proud to say that my hair broke many combs and even scared away hair dressers :-). First of all, congratulations on your babies! I think that they will enjoy being so close in age. It's like having a best friend for life. They will experience this world together at the same time, all the ups and downs it has to offer. I think your kids will really appreciate their closeness in age, both when they are young and as they grow older. Second, THIS DEPRESSION NEEDS TO GO NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! It makes me angry that you're not happy. It's extreamly difficult being pregnant and dealing with changes in your body all while taking care of a little one and battling depression, but I know that you're gonna make it through this challenging time. With regards to your hair: try using a needle. Without the needle I would have never detangled my matts. It's a wining tool, and the only tool that can get between strands of hair that are knotted together. Also, I HIGHLY recommend the knotty boy detangler that I mentioned in my blog post. Start with a VERY SMALL section, slow and steady wins in this race. Slather some knotty boy on the the SMALL section of hair, then pick at it with the needle. Please be careful, the needle can prick you. Also, if your hair is in a tight matt, you may need to snip off a little to create an entry point. If you can. please give this technique a try before cutting it off. When you're working on your hair watch something happy on TV or on your computer. Make working on your hair as comfortable and as enjoyable as possible. Otherwise it will drive you crazy and you will give up and just cut it out of frustration. It won't be easy, but give it a try. Just know that whether you detangle or cut your hair, either choice is the RIGHT choice. It's all about you and what makes you happy and what's best for your mind and health. It's not about other people and how they feel about your hair. Their opinions don't count and don't matter. If someone does not accept you because of your hair LOL that person has serious issues and you're better off not associating with them. Don't let others control your happiness. Live to please yourself. Let me tell you, there are some very sexy and beautiful short hair styles, and there are weaves, wigs, and extensions (though I don't recommend them). There are SOOO many options if you cut your hair, and best part is, your hair will grow back.
DeleteI have that same problem and I now too feel some wht happy Iam not the only one who this has happened to and that there is hope.
DeleteIMA go buy or order on line what I can't find in stores right now.. Time to get rid of tgis madness.... Thanks so much so thankful\greatful for ur advice and tips...xoxoo nicole
Hi Sonia,
ReplyDeleteI feel so relieved that maybe this problem isn't only me. I am grateful to hear everyone's thoughts!
As for me, I have incredibly tangled hair for about 6 months now (yeah, lucky me). The problem is that my hair is medium in thickness but VERY LONG--I have never cut it! It goes down past the small of my back. My mom and I have combed for weeks and haven't even made as much as a dent. The knots are amazingly tight, matted on all three sides, and hard as a rock. Despite putting many products in it, nothing seems to work. I am so stressed about this matted mess and I am not sure what I will do. I have a special event coming up and at the rate we're going, I am going to be on my deathbed before it's all untangled. I am starting to think that I should just cut it off, but it would end up being a buzz cut. . I don't know how to safe my hair! Any advice on how to comb this? Nothing seems to work! Thanks so much!
Can severely matted hair be detangled?
ReplyDeletetangled hair techs locations
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ReplyDeleteHad to get mine cut off :( So devastated...
ReplyDeleteMy 4 year old daughter curly hair got two big knots and matted, didn't know that hair should not wash. Gossh..I m now trying to detangle since few days. Opened hair but those knots are difficult to open. She love her hair and I wish I can open all. In UK I may not get this boy detangler.
ReplyDeleteI have my hair tangeled up from being in a bun tht ive left untreated after my bf for 10 years passed away and then shortly after that my mother passed away.. I got really bad into drugs and depression kicked in.. Now i want my beautiful long hair back.. How do i even start to tug at this bun knotted dread like rats nest??! PlEASE HELP ME... NICOLE
ReplyDeleteMy story sounds the same as a lot of the rest of you. I've been wearing a bun pulled tight for the past few years. My usual routine is just to slap some gel on the sides and wrap it. Even when I washed it, I would just pull it back into a bun. Usually, I'm able to comb any matting out in the shower, but last time it didn't work, so...I just pulled it back into a bun again and said I would detangle the next time, then the next time. When I washed it THIS time, I was left with this huge horrible mat, like a helmet, as some have said here.
ReplyDeleteI've been working at it slowly over the past week, a little at a time. I now have two braids on the side and then two braids in the back (each located at the bottom of a mat). Am at the point where I need someone to work my "kitchen" area, as we we call it, so I'm paying my daughter in law to come over a few nights a week this week to attack it. Hopefully, it will work. These remaining mats are very hard and dense, even when I try to soak them. So, she may have to do a little bit of snipping, which is fine. So, making slow progress.
If it doesn't work and I have to cut, I've come to peace with it. I was thinking that I've been wearing my hair so tightly pulled back all these years, so, I probably look bald or mostly bald, to most people anyway lol. Anyway, good luck to you ladies. I feel your pain! But, so, Sonia or anyone else, have you had success with the really HARD and THICK mats??
This saved my loved one'hair...the pIn..with conditioner and olive oil worked. It was tedious..but put on a movie (two actually) and got it done. THANK YOU
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ReplyDeleteSo my daughter's hair is seriously matted because she would only smooth the edges and out in a bun. My mom has put all kind of conditioners and oils on her hair. It seems to have made it more difficult to get through. Is it a bad idea to try and wash all the product out and start again
ReplyDeleteI'm no expert but I believe that washing all the hair at once should be a last resort. I washed my hair when it was knotty and it just got worse. If possible, work in small sections. Put some detangler on the section, a little water, then pic at the hair. I highly recommend a quilting pin. Try to pic at the hair and release it. Just be careful because you can get pricked or lose the pin. working on all the hair or a large section, is very discouraging and overwhelming. Also, when working on lots of hair, you will stop and start, maybe continue a few hours or days later. The hair will get wet then dry, and this can shrink the hair and make knots tighter. hope this helps!!! <3
ReplyDeleteThis article was a life saver for me!
ReplyDeleteSince my hair is thin & brittle, it took a lot more effort and time to get it untangled than it would have for most people..luckily I had some help on the worst one though. Just be ready to spend a good amount of time on it because stopping halfway through, washing it & putting it back up only makes it Worse. If you can avoid washing it until you get finished, it will make the whole process easier (because like she says - hair shrinks). Just pick through a couple of stands at a time & pin it back when you're done with it. For my hair, we started with the smallest tangles first - starting at the ends of my hair working our way up into the tangles strand by strand. I used coconut oil, the kind you can buy in the baking section at the grocery store. Nothing special & not expensive either. (I bought a 2 container special for $10 but they're usually $6 for 1.) I also used the white rain coconut scented conditioner ($1) and slathered my entire head full of both, wrapped in plastic for about 30 min to an hour before we started with it and it worked wonders. Itc was late the night we started on it so I actually just wrapped my head up in the plastic loosely, put a towel on it & had to sleep in it for a couple of hours but it seemed to come out a little easier too. I hope any of this helps.
>Thank you so much for this. Finding this page, reading the comments & just knowing that I wasn't the only one going through it made me feel so much better & took so much of the embarrassment away. Thank you again.
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ReplyDeleteSo much info wish I would have looked on Google sooner. As the beginning of the struggle, day 1. About three months ago I list my job...I loved. Money woes and depression set in. I have very long curly hair. Being summer to hot to wear down. So I twist it back into a bun.MISTAKE #1, matting started slowly. I would brush it out or try anyway in the shower. Would get most of it, I thought. after aching arms and tears of how did I let this happen. I would just twist and bun it again. Wish I woulda known shampoo is the enemy 2 months ago. Lost so much hair! So thick you can't tell thank God. Almost ready to cut Matts out today and decided to Google for help....again thank God. Awesome tips here must of mine in back of head. Hard to reach and too embarrassed to get help. So wish me luck, keep you updated and thank you for all the info and support. Wish me luck and I'll post up dates.
ReplyDeleteSo much info wish I would have looked on Google sooner. As the beginning of the struggle, day 1. About three months ago I list my job...I loved. Money woes and depression set in. I have very long curly hair. Being summer to hot to wear down. So I twist it back into a bun.MISTAKE #1, matting started slowly. I would brush it out or try anyway in the shower. Would get most of it, I thought. after aching arms and tears of how did I let this happen. I would just twist and bun it again. Wish I woulda known shampoo is the enemy 2 months ago. Lost so much hair! So thick you can't tell thank God. Almost ready to cut Matts out today and decided to Google for help....again thank God. Awesome tips here must of mine in back of head. Hard to reach and too embarrassed to get help. So wish me luck, keep you updated and thank you for all the info and support. Wish me luck and I'll post up dates.
ReplyDeleteFacing the same.. determined to de-tangle at any cost tonight.. my hair gets tangled at the back where I cannot reach.. could you please help me what to do there?
ReplyDeleteSonia could you please let me know you still read this? Honestly you and this are my last hope my hair situation is extremely bad & I have become almost suicidal due to this. It's been 4 months now (maybe more tbh I don't know because I am so depressed & losing hope) just tone let others know about me I have severe depression & have been going through a very hard time with life health everything... anyway I am scared to post too much I will but need to know your here. Please help I've been praying & praying & praying so you & the Lord are the last hope with my hair I'm so fat already I just can't bear to lose my hair I'm not the type who grows hair easily. Please help I'm begging you please please help me if need to help my husband & more importantly.... I don't want to say it's publishing under my name. I am seeking some therapy I will go to hospital if I must but please I'd rather atleast attempt to get this hair unmatched then clean first. Please help
ReplyDeleteHey Leslie, you are not alone.
DeleteMy hair became matted due to severe depression and after a year of working on it it has come loose severely.
You are not alone in not wanting to cut out the mess, we must work through our troubles and not run from them. I have found that by making detangling my only priority for an hour or two is a form of meditation and that it takes me away from the things that influence my life negatively. This leaves me more prepared to deal with situations that arise and be able to choose to go detangle instead of repeating past patterns. The tangle can increase depression and the progress you make will help you lift out of your negative space over time. Don't stop, you are not alone.
Much Love
Le Roux
I have found hope! I have ordered Knotty Boy. I feel so much less alone! I dislocated my shoulder last October, I live alone and was not able to brush my own hair for several months, by then it was too late, 1 big ball. I twisted it up, rolled it in a knot, secured with scrunchies and have gotten by, issue ( I hope), largely undetected.The snarls and matts are to the roots and cannot imagine shaving my head! I will follow your plan and keep faith some or most can be saved. I thank you from the bottom of my heart !!!!!
ReplyDeleteHello I left my braids in way too long and I took them out and now that I washed and shampooed my hair first I still have knot's in my hair. What can I do so that I won't loose all my hair. Please Help
ReplyDeleteFirst time trying to grow long(er) hair. It matted a bit and I tried to use that as a reason to go dreads, but my stylist cut a lot of it out and I regret it now. Started the dreads but I wasn't twisting as I should out of ignorance. Was washing it and people were telling me it won't lock which they were wrong because the ends locked and the new growth matted because I wasn't twisting like I should have.
ReplyDeleteNow my dreads look weird but I don't want to cut it so I'm looking to try some of your techniques here to loosen up the matted hair and retwist the dreads. Thanks for the advice and inspiration!
First time trying to grow long(er) hair. It matted a bit and I tried to use that as a reason to go dreads, but my stylist cut a lot of it out and I regret it now. Started the dreads but I wasn't twisting as I should out of ignorance. Was washing it and people were telling me it won't lock which they were wrong because the ends locked and the new growth matted because I wasn't twisting like I should have.
ReplyDeleteNow my dreads look weird but I don't want to cut it so I'm looking to try some of your techniques here to loosen up the matted hair and retwist the dreads. Thanks for the advice and inspiration!
THIS BLOG IS THE GREATEST THING EVER!!!!
ReplyDeleteI thought I was alone. Thank you so much for the advice, I had figured a lot of this out by trial and error but I did not know about the wash thing, thank you for this and I think it will make a big difference going forward. I am several months in, most of the dread has moved from my scalp in the hair causing dreads and knots and funny pieces everywhere - looks quite funny. How was people's hair at the end of all this? The good fight continues! Will update again soon.
Mad love for you all, we can do this!
My hair will literally break a comb. No matter how big it is or how thick the teeth are. I can only use a brush because my hair has broken combs and picks alike over the years.
ReplyDeleteLol me too... Chunky plastic brushes snap like twigs in my hair hahah... The best pick is a small metal flathead screwdriver!!!
DeleteMe too! My hair will break any type of comb or pick. :)
DeleteI read the blog and all the comments a few days ago when I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown because of all the dreadlocked and matted hair I had to deal with. My hair had been damaged by heat and color for years and I made it worse over the past year by getting 3 bad dye jobs to maintain my blonde hair, which is getting darker as I get older. I couldn't get the shade right and it was too brassy. I thought because I was "natural" and not using heat that I was repairing my hair.
ReplyDeleteActually, I was damaging it more by tearing and snarling my delicate coils just to detangler it when I washed it. I've lost most of the density of my 3b4a/b hair because of it breaking down from the color and protein overload trying to save it. I truly believe our hair can mimic our emotional state and I've been a financial and emotional mess, especially in the past couple of years. I watched tons of videos online and read so many blogs and forums searching for answers. I felt like I had to handle it myself instead of going to a salon because they usually make it worse. And my finances were tight. But I just made it worse myself by doing too many things to my hair.
The last straw was trying to "clarify" what I thought was product buildup with a baking soda mask and rinse. My hair was so dehydrated and it shrunk right up into large mats. I cried for hours and stayed home from work that day because I was so emotionally exhausted. I thought I could still fix it and I went out and bought a conditioner I love that has lots of slip. It did loosen but my hair was still feeling like it was being gripped by evil. I contemplated just chopping off that hair so many times. I tried vegetable glycerin and diluted ACV and it seemed to be working but my hair felt too stiff so I washed it out. OMG. It kinked up again and I had even more mats!!! I started praying and listening to praise music to calm myself down. Then I found this blog and realized the water was making my hair worse than before. All of this was to tell the OP, thank you for your honesty and information on this blog. You really made me feel less alone and hopeful that I didn't have to just cut my hair.
So I decided to go to a Dominican stylist that I knew would be empathetic and try to get them out. And she did! It took lots of conditioner and an hour but she got them out! My hair is very thin and I had to cut 4 inches when it was straightened out. But it looks beautiful and at least I have this length. I'm resigned to going every other week and doing treatments to try and repair my hair. I'm also going to take some hair vitamins. I could be so much worse so I'm praising Jesus for getting me though these past few days. I feel so much better about myself now. I think God was using this as a lesson in faith and patience. God bless anyone reading this. Have faith and don't lose hope that He will take care of you and make sure it will all work out for good!
Thank you for posting your story of faith and triumph. I am believing God to work a miracle for me too. Maybe after I get through this I will understand the purpose and how I can use this low point to help others.Many people just would not understand what we're going thru unless you've been there. The bible says a woman's hair is a crown of glory and our hair is symbolic of so many things about who we are so it's not vain at all for us to desire to get our hair back in order. I am optimistic that I will have mine all done soon. I'm thankful that at leat the perimeter of my head is detangled so that I can wear an updo that covers the crown area. I don't even have the option to cut if I dI'd that I'd have a huge empty circle in the center of my head surrounded by long waist length hair! Otherwise I'd have to cut it all down to the same level which would negate all the work I've done so far.
DeleteI have to keep going and save the middle. Pray for me gals! I need support. Thank you all for sharing your stories. Maybe I should write a book about this...
Hi Sonia! I cannot thank you enough for this wonderful guide, not just for the helpful tips, but also for all the other stories, this is the first time I haven't felt alone in literally months! I live with severe clinical depression, and as such I have neglected my personal hygiene to the point where my long hair is terribly tangled and matted. About a year ago I bit the bullet and asked for my Mum's help, and endured a painful few hours as she picked and brushed the fist-sized balls of tangle out of my hair. I feel so ashamed that I've allowed this to happen again, but such is the way of depression. My lovely Mum has just gone and purchased two big tubs of Argan Oil Deep Conditioning Hair Treatments and a bottle of the pure Argan Oil. We are going to work it through my hair (I am Caucasian, I have very thick, dry hair, which is currently multicoloured at the ends and my own dark roots down past my ears, as I haven't had the money nor the inclination to get my hair done for a long time) I'm gonna leave the treatments and oil in my hair all day, wearing a shower cap and a towel to lock in the heat, and hopefully either late tonight or tomorrow we can start the process of combing it out! Wish me luck! Thank you Sonia and everyone else who bravely shared their stories here, I am beyond humbled and thankful to know that I'm not alone in this Hair Nightmare! Anyone else in the same spot, I wish you luck too, and hope that we might all become tangle free! Much love and blessings to you
ReplyDeleteFrom Scotland ❤
Hello again Sonia, I don't know if you still check in here, but I have a question for anyone who might be able to help? I currently have a whole bottle of Argan Oil and an entire tub of Argan Oil Deep Conditioning Hair Treatment all over my hair, and I'm wearing a shower cap and a towel wrapped around to lock in heat to really open my follicles and let the oils soak in. My question is; do you think this will be enough? My hair is matted and tangled at the back, mostly around the crown area (for months I have simply grabbed the whole rats nest up in a messy bun, I even sleep with it tied up this way) But its not as horribly matted as the time I mentioned in my previous comment, as a few weeks ago I tried to comb it out in the bath whilst it was slathered in conditioner. The amount of dead hair I combed out was disgusting, but I'm not entirely sure of how much progress I made as I felt so frustrated and overcome with the magnitude of it all that I gave up and just tied it up again. I think its still in a bad state judging by the disapproving noises and comments my Mum made as she was putting the oil on it earlier. She just doesn't understand what depression can do to a person and as such she can't understand how I have come to let this happen again. How long would you suggest I keep the oil and treatment on before I begin the arduous task of trying to comb it out? If I leave it overnight will I run the risk of the oil and treatment going hard and crunchy and making the whole process even harder? I've promised my Mum that once this is taken care of that I will braid my hair to keep it from tangling, and I desperately want to keep this promise. Its just such an easy hole to fall back into. I could really do with having a good wedge cut off my hair anyway, but I just don't have the money right now, and I couldn't face the humiliation of letting a hairdresser see this hideous mess I've created! You see, I'm just not used to having long hair. I always had short hairstyles, but over the last few years my depression worsened and I just let my hair grow out of sheer neglect. Its so thick and heavy. Has anyone else had any luck with one of those Tangle Teezer brushes? I'd be hugely grateful for any advice anyone could offer. Should I attempt the combing-out at some point tonight or should I leave the oils and treatment to 'marinate' overnight? What if it goes hard and crunchy?! I swear if I didn't have two huge ugly benign growths (like skin tags) on my scalp I would just shave the whole lot off! I rarely leave the house so being bald wouldn't bother me, and actually I quite like the idea of starting over with fresh, virgin hair! But just my luck, thats not an option!! I really hope someone is reading this, as I could really use some advice!!
ReplyDeleteMy hair is stuck in a hopelessly matted state for the second time. I suffer from anxiety, depression, minor agoraphobia, and bipolar disorder so many days, it's easier to just put my hood up and ignore my hair. Every now and then, I'll be having an up period where I feel good about myself and I'll put on nice clothes, do my makeup and nails, but then see my hair and just stay in. I understand the feeling like a prisoner in your own home thing. Other than the shame and embarrassment, the worst part about it is the pain, itching, and migraines caused from the constant tugging and weight of this, thing, on my head. If I absolutely have to go out, I usually either keep my hood on or try and hide my hair under a bandanna. Last time (maybe 3 years ago?) my hair was so severely matted I just ended up cutting it off. But I have gorgeous, waist length, thick hair now (hidden in a mat that looks like a weird amorphous ponytail thing) and I really don't want to lose it if possible. Thank you for this blog. I'm going to have to try your techniques out for myself. Worst case scenario, I cut my hair again. I mean, I guess it is just hair and it will grow back. After all, I suppose I did look kinda cute with short hair. Either way, thank you for the helpful advice and hopeful, kind words.
ReplyDeleteDepression and matted hair seem to go together too well. My hair's the last part of my depression I need to solve. It's taking ages but it's slowly getting better. The Knotty Boy Detangler and this post has saved my life! Thank you for being so brave and posting - you are helping so many people! xxxx
ReplyDeleteI was thinking my hair was as bad as it is because of depression.... But after a good think I am embarrassed to say I'm just plain lazy.... I have long thick curly hair.... I hate brushing, washing, drying and straightening it... And because I hate it and find it boring I'd rather put it in a bun and just forget it for as long as I possibly can.... I decided tonight that I couldn't put it off any longer... I knew it was going to be bad... My youngest baby is almost ten months and the last time I brushed or washed it was when she was one month old...(my hair doesn't go greasy or even smell unless I have been reaaaaaaaalllyyy hot and sweaty) ... And to make it worse I didn't straighhten my hair the last time I washed it just left it curly and shoved it back in a bun....Anyway it was bad bad... I took it out and it didn't move.... There were two main parts that were matted from the tip to the skull... The top left of my head and the all the way along my neck and the two inches above....I literally got a brush and leant forward and bushed the ends of my hair as hard as I could for as long as I could til my arms were too sore to continue....then instead of a pin my saving grace was THE SMALLEST FLATHEAD SCREWDRIVER I COULD FIND!!! Worked a treat separating a few strands of hair at a time and and it's much easier to grip than a pin...
ReplyDeleteThere's hope guys .... I was cutting the dry ends of my hair as I went along... I didn't use any products ..just a brush for the ends, a comb for the roots and the screwdriver.... One section at a time.. I started at 8.30 last night and it's not 3.44 am and I AM DONE!!! If you're lazy like my my tip is to not do it over a period of time because if I did one section last night I know I probably wouldn't do anymore for another month which kind of defeats the purpose. Don't stop for as long as it takes... Just get it done and be done with it! I am never going to do this to myself again (I say this every time lol)
This has given me so much hope. I'm embarrassed to say my matted hair is because I was lazy. Due to constantly working, I hated the thought of having to brush my hair out plus I have severe psoriasis on my scalp. I would wash it but not often and I would always put it in a bun to get it out of the way. The matted parts have only JUST recently happened and I'm dreading that I'll need to ask my boyfriend to help me. It's disgusting and I hate to ask for help but due to how thick and curly my hair is, I really don't think I can do it myself.
DeleteMy hair is currently matted and itching like crazy due to my psoriasis so I will be tackling this, this Easter weekend while I have these extra days off work.
Wish me luck! If all else fails, I may be bald by Monday lol.
P.S I'm from New Zealand and it's currently Thursday evening.
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ReplyDeleteI am 14, and I have matted hair. I have started using this, and so far it has worked for me. My hair is matted at the back of my head. I don't think I will ever let my hair get this bad again.
ReplyDeleteHi there, my daughter is 10 and has long waves down past her bottom. She was swimming last night and twisted her hair into two buns. They got absolutely matted. I got one out but the other is just a hard mass of matted hair that has hair looped in and out... I can't even find the ends. It's such a thick clump that I can't seperate it. I soaked it in conditioner last night and wrapped it in a bag. I tried hair oil too.. It's New Years so I can't get any products. Help! Her hair is so long and beautiful I feel like crying at the thought of cutting it ( she's upset too)
ReplyDeleteBella Disuja provide the best hair oil for your ruff and unmanageable hair you should make your hair more beautiful and attractive to use our tips.
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You guys have really helped me. I was homeless and jobless for a few months and neglected my hair. I'm now back working and living in a flat. Unfortunately my hair has turned into a birds nest. I've managed to get 1/4 of it completed but it hurts my head so much that I can't even rest my head on anything :(
ReplyDeleteThank you Sonia for posting this blog. I'm happy to report that as of yesterday, I successfully untangled the last knot from my hair which was knotted up so badly for almost 11 months after my pregnancy. I used the coconut oil and KB Ultimate Detangler just like you advised and my hubby was a sweetie and helped me do it. We tackled it in two weekends working through the night and I wondered why I hadn't gotten him to help me sooner. I'm proud of myself and thankful to God for sticking with it and not cutting it when I felt like giving up. I ended up with uneven lengths but we saved enough hair that I can do curly style with it and it would conceal those uneven lengths while I embark on the journey to regrow the hair better and stronger than before. I hope this encourages you out there to stick with it. My best advice is get someone you trust to help you especially since they can see the back of your head better than you can. Feel free to reply with any questions.
ReplyDeleteIf all fails I would try TAKE DOWN DETANGLER/REMOVER. Look up their videos on YouTube. It work wonders on every hair type.They also come to you (of course it's pricey if they do come. Think $600)
ReplyDeleteI apologize if this has already been discussed... But that's a lot of comments. :) Is there an alternative to coconut oil... Neither me nor my husband can stand any coconut scent.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I just fixed my awful matted hair with your mix and I'm crying happy tears. Coconut oil is stupid amazing. I suffer from manic anxiety, depression, and bipolar and let my hair get into a horrible state. Reading your comments really made me feel a lot better and gave me confidence to fix my hair. You are a God send. Again thank you!!! <3
ReplyDeleteThank you! I just fixed my awful matted hair with your mix and I'm crying happy tears. Coconut oil is stupid amazing. I suffer from manic anxiety, depression, and bipolar and let my hair get into a horrible state. Reading your comments really made me feel a lot better and gave me confidence to fix my hair. You are a God send. Again thank you!!! <3
ReplyDeleteI am so glad I found this page. I'm trying to brush out my hair with out cutting it. I feel like the option is shave it given how bad it. I'm just really happy other people understand how bad it gets so quickly. I literally fell asleep with my hair down and it matted up so quickly and badly I just put it up as I was dealing with finals and never got around to brushing it because I knew how bad it was. I really hope this works and gets at least most of my matted hair fixed. Thank you so much for posting this.
ReplyDeleteI have locks. Do uou have any suggestions. How would you handle matted hair if you have locks attached? Certain parts of my hair are free of matted hair. The hair closest to my scalp is loose, then there is 2-3 inches of matted hair then my locks. I have tried the oil and conditioner to try to give it that slippage but it does not seem to make a difference. How much oil and conditioner do you use?
ReplyDeletePlease help my boyfriend is paraplegic and has hair that is down to his waste. I am the one who comes it and keeps up with it. At first it started as a small knot and I turned into and could and it started to take a ring shaped like a circle so I was tugging at the outer edges I used to rat tail comb I bought all these expensive products I use naughty boy I have used everything olive oil I've used Biosilk I've used bottles and bottles of Biosilk I'm just at my end every time I start again coming from the bottom of it and it is routed all the way to the scalp and his hair is so long and it's just in this Clump that I can't get out every time I start calling it out it tightens up again into the circle every time what do I do please help
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this blog!! I've tried everything!! I even ordered that special takedown remover off the internet and I've got some pieces out. But I still have a huge matted piece in the back. I had my hair in a messy bun. So there is no ends, it's just a big matted ball. I've let it soak in jojoba oil, argain oil, when oil... literally everything and I just don't know what else to do!! I can send pictures, can u please help? Thank you again
ReplyDeleteOMG THANKYOU , MINE IS ALSO IN THE UPWARDS POSITION AS IT WAS IN A PONYTAIL & KNOTTED ONTO A BUN , I HAD EMERGENCY OPEN SURGERY WITH MY WHOLE ABDOMEN CUT OPEN FOLLOWED BY SKIN CANCER , MY HAIR IS BADLY MATTED YET I CAN'T SEE TO DO IT WITH IT BEING UP & AS IT'S GROWN IT'S JUST GETTING BIGGER & BIGGER ESPECIALLY AT THE BACK JUST A HUGE STICKING OUT BALL ON MY HEAD ... HAVE YOU HAD ANY LUCK WITH YOURS , I ALREADY HAVE AGORAPHOBIA , BUT DO GO OUT OCCASIONALLY AIDED BY FAMILY , IT'S MY DAUGHTERS 18TH IN 2 WEEKS & I'M TAKING HER FOR A MEAL ... NOW HER 2 FRIENDS ARE COMING , SO FAR I'VE MANAGED TO COVER IT WITH A FAKE HAIR SCRUNCHIE , BUT IT'S GOT TO A POINT WHERE IT STICKS OUT SO MUCH I COULD DIE OF EMBARRASSMENT 😢🙏🆘 PLZZZ LET ME KNOW HOW YOU GOT ON AS MY DEPRESSION / ANXIETY IS GETTING WORSE BY THE DAY , THANKYOUFRIEND ... X .
Delete.
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ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this blog post. I don't know what else to say, but thank you. I am so tired of youtube detangling videos showing hair that looks like it has already been detangled at the start of the video! They are just not realistic, at least not to my experience. As a white mom to a foster child with 4c hair I kept wondering if I was doing something wrong when her hair got matted. (She has a history of neglecting her hair/being neglected, so protective styling, daily maintenance, and regular detangling are a battle to get her to engage in!) But the resulting matting and then the tears are awful. I have been searching and searching for empathy, something to make me feel like I am not crazy, and this is the only place I have found it. Thank you again for being realistic about how hard it can be to detangle.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to hear from you!! It's always amazing to connect with people. We often share a same struggle and can help one another :-) How is your daughter’s hair? I’m sending positive hair vibes her way! May every strand on her head be blessed. My mother is Acadian (French/Native Canadian) and my father Zimbabwean. My mom had to struggle with my hair. I always cried when she combed it. Afro hair is so amazing and gorgeous, but it tends to lock naturally when left alone, even for a day or two. My mom always cut my hair super short because we both couldn't deal with it; it always made me sad though, because I wanted my hair long.
DeleteI am now 27 years old and God’s blessed me with long gorgeous hair! I’ve finally learned how to manage it. I treat my hair like it’s sacred, because it is. I’ve embraced my Micmac and African heritage, I’ve felt that my hair is part of me and who I am. I can’t just treat it like an enemy, a constant struggle and burden. Every time I wash my hair, it’s a special time for me. I play some soothing tunes and sometimes light incense or use herbs and essential oils. I know it will take a long time, but I embrace every moment because my hair is sacred. I also keep my hair in braids or twists for about 5 days out of the week so it does not tangle. I love to get creative with clips, pins, headbands, and elastics and create new styles with the braids/twists. On the weekend I let my fro out for the world to admire. The curl patterns are lovely from the braids/twists. On Sunday, I wash and repeat the process. This is how I keep my hair tangle free. I can really see the difference, my comb goes through my hair and only has a few strands on it and my hair has grown longer.
Perhaps try some low-maintenance, long-lasting styles on your daughter and make detangle time a special time just for her. If I can help with anything let me know.
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ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your blog! It has given me hope! I have/had coils down to my waist. I also have two rats nests in my hair. To they are really close to my scalp and hard, what do you recommend?
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ReplyDeleteCoconut oil and my rat tail comb are working well for the matts. But I have a very had matted/dreadlock section at the nape that feels impossible. Any tips? PS, this is the section that I made the mistake of trying to comb out with water and conditioner
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